Cry for Help
This is a poem that I wrote for a Wattpad contest. It was chosen and published along with a bunch of others in a book called Extravaganza. Frontenac House published it. This poem is not about me per se, but about the many people out there suffering from depression. Hope you enjoy it.
Cry For Help
When I wake up, the only thing I want to do is go back to sleep. I go through the day with unwarranted, uncontrollable urges to weep.
Days go by slowly, with no desire from me. I go thru the motions, no pleasure do I see.
My children look at me with sad eyes; I just turn my head and try not to cry. Anger seems to be the only emotion I feel, If not that, then numbness is the only emotion that seems real.
If I laugh, it is a fake laugh, just trying to appear normal. To people I just meet, I seem cold and formal.
My husband goes out of his way to make me smile, I just cannot respond the way he wants, and yet he is still in denial.
The sickness runs through my body like the plague, I, more than anyone, am tired of my façade.
It is not sadness I feel, for how could it be? I have everything everyone says I need to be happy and free.
Depression I know is what has me in its grip, But I am too far gone to give a flip. When I do try to explain what I am feeling, all the things that cause me strife, People just look at me like I am crazy and tell me to grow up and deal with life.
They do not understand that I miss myself and that I don’t like the new me, That I do not understand these feelings when I know I have it good and happy I should be.
Days are no longer pleasurable and life seems like a chore, Even my children, whom I love desperately, cannot spark my emotions anymore.
In my head I am screaming, I feel to much! I just cannot get those words and emotions out of my head and into my touch.
I want to be well; I can feel life slipping me by. I miss my children and my husband so much; I hate to see them cry.
I want to feel again, something besides numbness and pain, I want to delight again in playing with my kids in the rain.
I wish he could understand that I need help and make me get it, Before I am too far gone and I do not want to do anything but lie down and forget it.